i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I did not marry a roomba.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
