He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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