I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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