the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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