Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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