Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
