so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
