i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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