YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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