we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
