why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize