Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
