That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
