weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I touched a dick in church today
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize