i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
