My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
