the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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