Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
