Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
