I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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