Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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