Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
