drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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