guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize