# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
