To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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