I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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