Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
