he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am available for nakedness
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
