Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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