it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
