If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
