Is it normal to miss your booty call?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
