Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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