he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
