hotel room ftw
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
