making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
