All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
