Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
