so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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