Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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