my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
