I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
