I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd cum for enchiladas.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
