I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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