My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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