The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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