Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My life is pants optional.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
