u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize