My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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