we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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