I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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