speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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