We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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