Screwed.edu
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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