Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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