i just wanna soil my oats bro
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
