Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
