i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
