i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I look better un-naked...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize