Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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