I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Still dying that you shit outside
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
