You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
