The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I looked at my own cervix.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
