Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
