ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
