my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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